Part of my fear was coming from the fact, that I had to support the family, my wife didn't know English and didn't work, my children were small and I was sick. I had a tumor in my body which bothered me and I was not sure how much longer I will live. In Russia I didn't have it surgically removed because medicine in Russia was very poor and there was a very high chance of dying from sloppiness of medics. I wasn't sure that American medicine was better. From childhood experiences and traumas with medics I was very mistrusting of medics in general. Observing overmedication of people in America, I remained wary of medics. So at the time of having a hatred feeling to my coworker, I was operating in pain, in fear and in survival mode. (Later, I had to have the tumor removed as it started to hurt much and there was no way around other than to succumb to a surgeon. The operation came out well, the tumor was removed, it was big but benign, and as the surgeon promised, I was soon able to return playing volleyball.)
What is the difference between hatred as emotion and hatred as a mental idea? It feels different. There is a different physiology involved, and different is the timing.
Thoughts are mostly happening mostly in the neocortex and emotions are happening mostly in inner parts of the brain, much of emotional activity is acting via regulation of connections in the brain. Typically we can directly control our thoughts but our emotions can be influenced only indirectly. Often our emotions are completely out of our control. This relates to chronic sadness also referred to as depression.
Emotion is substantially independent of our logical mind and is typically slower. It has its own inertia, many emotions, even negative are very energizing. Few emotions are draining energy, such as depression and apathy. In many cases we can change our mind very fast - as new information comes along or as our interpretation of existing information changes, we can swing from one opinion and action plan to the opposite. This logical swings could take fraction of a second, especially in quick actions as driving. A person could logically decide to take a turn and do this in a fraction of a second. Our emotions are rather slow. They can raise in seconds and can stay for seconds, typically minutes, sometimes hours, and rarely days. To stay longer, the emotion is to be supported by consistent thoughts and outside stimuli.
Bashar teaches how to control emotions. According to Bashar, emotion is based on our interpretation of events. We can not control emotion directly, but we are able to change our interpretation of events. Most ways to interpret events are taught to us by culture. We are at freedom to change our interpretations mentally and to change our mental values assigned to each category of events. For example we can choose to stop valuing death negatively, especially because we learn about the soul and reincarnation. As we change our value matrix, our emotions change.
A great lesson about emotions I found in Star Trek series. Mr. Spock, a Vulcan is explaining that he can control his emotions. He can feel an emotion but also he can choose not to feel it. This is also a message of Bashar - in his teachings, an emotion can be experienced by choice. Since we are very easily programmable and since we are learning by copying others, it is not too difficult to learn how to control emotions from Bashar and from Spock.
I observed that in general, channeled aliens do express emotions via a medium, but these emotions do not have inertia as ours. For example, one time, Bashar was expressing a strong negative emotion of control to stop verbal outpouring of one of the listeners at Bashar's performance. This sounded like a conflict and Bashar expressed an emotion of control and mild aggression. A next questioner expected that it will take time for Bashar to cool down from his anger and asked therefore "how are you?". Bashar answered "great" and proved that by continuing the conversation in a usual happy and balanced fashion. Humans are usually not capable of that. Anger consumes and clutters the thinking. Usually it takes time to cool down from anger and to return to normal self. There are physiological reactions involved as well. Body chemistry and blood content are changing, adrenalin and other hormones are released in the blood switching the body to flight and fight action. Sapolsky explains well how sympathetic and parasympathetic systems interplay controlling emotions, preparing the body for emergency responses, how they play in feeding, sexual and other behaviors. We share these systems with animals. Our main difference is that we have a much more developed cortex and logical mind. I understand that many aliens have more developed logical mind and less powerful animal behavior part.
I can appreciate that our design makes us an extraordinary vehicle for our higher selves to experience physicality. Our experiences are especially bright since we feel disconnected from the rest of the world: we feel disconnected from higher self, from all that is, from other humans, from aliens and angels, and often from animals and nature. We perceive this life as the only life, don't remember our past lives and perceive no guidance by aliens and spirits. This makes us feel responsible for all we do in our lives and gives us an experience of being creators of our lives. We often perceive being responsible for all that happens in our lives.
This design allows covert control of us by higher selves and other aliens and spirits. Since our emotions are strong and logical mind is weak, they are capable of manipulating us. We perceive this manipulation as our desires and choices while these are actually manipulations by otherdimensional beings. This way the humanity is a great playground for otherdimensional beings. They get experience and energy while we are confused and lonely. Still we get lots of great moments and experiences in life as well. Sexual love, family children, and friendship with humans and pets are among best experiences we get. We are also trained and forced to be creative in our survival. When we get out of earth, we will contribute our life energy and creativity to the galactic community.