Our attraction to higher spheres is very strong, especially in children and in people which escape mainstream propaganda. Part of this attraction is our inherent love for parents. We see god as a parent. Since each of us is much isolated and confused, we are looking for higher guidance. This desire is expressed in many ways in all people. People believing in god; usually speak in their minds to him or to his angels. Part of this unidirectional conversation is prayers, vocal or silent. After we pray, we look for signs from god that the prayers have been heard and in which direction he commands us to go. People believing in the parent type of god, expect god to help them, direct them and they, in turn, help god to fight evil. This is a relationship with a good god behaving like a parent.
In some cultures some people see god as a capricious angry man and they attempt to please him, although they don't expect kindness from this god.
Very often people feel that god is very far, busy with higher level problems and that they could better relate with lower level spiritual beings like angels and saints. They pray to them, again asking for help and often promising them to behave well.
This promise to behave well may appear very mysterious to you. It is often very mysterious even to me. I always behave as I believe is best. I am always in agreement with all components of myself. At least this is what I feel. If I want something, I usually am persuasive enough to rationalize my decision. Even for spontaneous urges which come from the animal part of my psyche, I still have enough justification and generally can stop myself if I decide so and often do stop. Later I often may decide otherwise and consider my past decision an error in judgment, but I would still know that for the moment, and for the circumstances I took the best decision. I would think that it would be universal for all beings. It is often not so for modern humans, especially in mainstream culture. Due to the fragmentation of their mind, their wishes are conflicting. They are bombarded and programmed by conflicting beliefs and commands. A typical contradiction is a small sin - eating sweets and fast food. They would know for sure that sweets are bad for them, but they would want them badly. So once in a while their urge for sweets would win and they would sin - eat sweats. Then they would feel ashamed for weakness of character. They would take "new year resolutions" - to lose weight or to start exercising and often would fail. This tendency, to make plans and follow them no matter what, is most often found as a characteristic of the German culture. Some of their abilities are respected by many non-Germans and some are completely disastrous such as crimes of Nazis against humanity. These also were plans which were executed no matter what. In general, I tend to keep my mind open; I change plans quickly when I think this is right. Sometimes it takes me a fraction of a second to change my mind if I get a better idea or if new evidence comes my way directing me in a new direction.
In general I believe, this is a question of integration versus fragmentation of the mind. People with a fragmented mind find they have internal conflicts and people with well integrated mind are mostly in peace within themselves. I find that this fragmentation is also affected by the astrological makeup of the human.
I also observe that many of my passions have a life time of about 2-3 months. I often am absolutely excited about a new passion, in a short time move all way forward with high energy and speed and after a period of about 2-3 months, I drop it. Usually, from my prospective, I have good reasons to start a new adventure and later to stop it. Usually 2-3 months are enough to explore the topic sufficiently to get experience and immerse in the subject. Many humans would consider my passions too short lived. Some humans would be focused on one thing for their whole life and some for years. They would consider my 2-3 month periods of intensity too short and too sloppy. I was a bit concerned about this until I realized that this may be the way my higher self is getting his experiences. I think possibly his goal is to skim the basic experience from each of my passions and then to move on onto exploring new passions.
I learned about the existence and nature of higher self only recently. This is a part of our psyche poorly understood by humans. It seemed to me the key to understanding the secret of our existence and I devoted to this question my recent research and my previous 2 books. Key to my understanding of higher self was Bashar's channelings, channelings by Abraham to Hicks and Adrian Dvir's book.
Now, instead of trying to please god, I am trying to help my higher self to experience what he prefers to experience. When I make decisions and when I get thoughts, I never am certain whether each decision or thought comes from my mind or my higher self, but I am trying to find out who's idea this is, based on circumstances, and typically try to follow what higher self wants. Sometimes I clearly see interference with what I am doing, this interference coming from seemingly random events. I typically analyze the pattern and decide whether to take the advice to stop or whether to persevere.
I believe that many lightworkers function in a similar way. Some lucky lightworkers are very psychic and they are lucky to have guides with them. This helps much if not in practice, at least psychologically. Being guided relieves them from a huge stress of loneliness and responsibility. I also relieved the stress of loneliness and responsibility from self, although I don't have direct feedback from guides and higher self - I decided to trust my path mostly because of teachings of Bashar. I studied them carefully, compared with books of Michael Newton and others did my research and decided to follow the advice of Bashar - to stay positive and to rely on the law of attraction. So far it works pretty well. The ride became more fun and less of a struggle.
I believe many lightworkers feel and drive their lives similar way.
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Chapter 8
HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS ABOUT LEARNING A unique feature of human experience is learning from scratch.